Recovery Reflection Realization

There are days where I wake up and I feel like I'm moving backwards. Nothing I do seems to push me in the direction I want to be going in. This feeling could explain why I have a planner, six notebooks, and calendars on both my phone and my computer all with to-do lists of things I want/need to accomplish. If left to my own devices I would walk backwards all the time. When I make a plan, it means that I am committed to doing something. Whether there's a chance that I won't finish or that I might fail, commitment is big motivator. I really envy those impulsive people who lived life with no intention. No plans, no lists, no rules. I frequently wish I could be more like them. How freeing a life of spontaneity must be!

Once a week I try to give myself a day where I am not deliberate. I wake up late, decide to not check my email, and I'm out the door to head to my favorite coffee shop. I listen to my favorite group of old men tell their stories. I sip my sugar free vanilla latte and savor in the aroma of fresh donuts. No plans, no rules, no lists. It's a nice retreat away from the constant structure and order. These are the days where I think up my best ideas, where I recover from the failures of the previous day. These are the days where I become better.

and this is the only reason why I have yet to have a mental breakdown. For all the plans and goals that I set for myself, I also give myself an out. If I start something and I fail, I don't give up completely. I start over, I give myself an escape, and I find a way to do it, and do it even better than before. We need balance in our lives, we need commitment in our lives, and we need the understanding that failure isn't permanent. Giving up is permanent, but failure opens the doorway that encourages us to try a little harder.

The next time you don't succeed, don't be so quick to give-up. Give yourself an escape and try again with more perspective and fresh eyes!

"The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself.
It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance,
or the help of others; it is in yourself alone."

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